I'm a Bad, Bad Buoy.

What's in a name?

Well, Bill Shakespeare would tell you a rose is going to smell good, even if you call it a "dingle-berry." My view on the subject, however, is this: If I come across a "dingle-berry", the last thing I'm going to do is stick my face in it. Or give it to a loved one. 

So, now that we've established Shakespeare is a flowery, over-wrought liar - we can get to the subject at hand: What in the hell is a "Bad Buoy", and why did I name my company after it? That's a good question. No seriously, that's a really good question, man. Thanks. Thanks for putting me on the spot like that. I appreciate you. 

I guess I could start with the fact that alliteration is all the rage. It worked for Circuit City, didn't it? Hell, It crushed for Palm Pilot - remember? And sure, Doctor Suess is dead, but I'll tell how it didn't happen: an over-exposure to alliteration. I think I've made my point... 

...Actually, now that I think about it: a cultural affinity for puns is also at play here. Bad Buoy. Bad Boy. Am I saying I'm the bad boy of copywriting? The hair apparent to Don Draper - minus the hidden identity, crippling alcoholism, and kegerator-like dad-bod? I don't know. That's not for me to say. I wouldn't dare claim to be those things I just layed out for you. In plain text.  

I can see a few of you are still curious about the "buoy" thing. You're likely wondering, Does it serve as some half-assed, "tourist-tropey" ode to his hometown (Portland, Maine)? further still, Is he saying that, much like a lobster-toting flotation device - he's a buoyant source of [creative] energy? Unwavered by the chilling and toxic tides of cheap cost "viral" sewage sweeping the legs from under true brand creators?? 

Well shit. I never thought about it that way. 

Okay yes. Yes, that is definitely it, guys. That is exactly why, today, I introduce to the world: Bad Buoy Productions. A company founded on creating attention-maintaining and brand relevant content. Show me something, and I'll tell you its story. It's that simple. 


Alright, who's first?



Clark, Chief Bad Buoy 

Clark Shepard